There once was a crab named Joe. He had a large circle of family and friends that he associated with. Joe spent his days living a care free life but he wondered if there was something more out there in the world beyond the boundaries of his existence. His friends and family told him not to think too much, and to aspire to be like Shirley the Clam, who was happy staying in her shell. The world was a dangerous place and could be cruel to a crab like Joe so it wasn't worth the risk to find anything more, or do anything new.
One day Joe and a group of his friends decided to venture out for a tour of their usual stomping grounds. It was a beautiful day and the ocean waves were tranquil with little undertow. Joe and his friends made their way past familiar landmarks and up the ocean floor. As they neared the shore they found themselves entangled in a net hidden on the sandy bottom. Before they knew what was happening the net was scooped up and Joe and his friends found themselves deposited in a crude and tall basket with no apparent escape.
As Joe looked up the sheer walls of the basket that loomed above him he felt the weight of his family's words about the danger of the world come crashing down on him. At the same time, a smaller voice, whispered to him, "Now's your chance Joe. Life is waiting for you. All you have to do is climb!" Although Joe wasn't sure where that voice came from, its calm and strength pierced through the negative voices, and he decided to give it a try.
"Hey guys! We can get out of here." Joe shouted to his friends. "Let's help each other."
Dubious, his friends looked at each other, but with a shrug and realizing they had nothing to lose, they nodded in agreement.
Joe began to climb, one claw at a time, using his friends as leverage. At first, his friends cheered him on, but soon the cheers turned to warnings about the risk he was taking and then to complaints and grumblings. After all, no one knew what was outside the basket. Plus, if he got out, what would they do and what would it mean about them?
Joe kept climbing, and the closer he got to the top, the stronger he felt. All of the sudden he felt pulling from below and he looked to see what was going on. Instead of helping, his friends were now dragging him down. In a matter of seconds Joe found himself at the bottom of the basket, right where he had started. A few of his friends angrily shoved and pushed him, even pinching at his claws in an effort to pull them off.
Since Joe had already begun to get a sense of something greater, he wasn't willing to give up. He recouped himself and began again. Once more, Joe found himself pulled down by his friends as soon as he neared the top. Over and over this occurred, until finally Joe was too disheartened and beaten up to make any more attempts. Bowing his head in defeat, Joe sadly found a place to sit. He looked at his friends in shock. Why had they pulled him down?
The story above is based off the "crab mentality" which teaches the importance of surrounding yourself with the right people and having the right environment for success. Unfortunately, sometimes people are overcome with jealousy and because they are already unhappy with their lives, they will act to crush your spirit to keep you achieving where they did not. Sound familiar? It all boils down to limiting beliefs.
It is hard enough to fight against our own self-limiting beliefs that come from various areas, but when you throw in the limiting beliefs of others, the result can be devastating. How do you overcome this? Well, if you want to succeed where Joe didn't, it's going to involve choices that redirect your life. Remember, you are always one decision away from a totally different life.
Choose your tribe wisely
As with Joe the Crab, family and friends can be our greatest supporters, but they can also be our fiercest naysayers. Their limiting beliefs, jealousy and own doubt about themselves can drag you down. While it is not possible to pick which family you belong to, it is possible to limit any negative influence that they might project onto your aspirations. If you find your family members acting like Joe's friends, it might be wise to watch how much you share and how often you hang out with them. I know this is difficult, but your future depends on it. In extreme cases, it is often required to cut them off completely.
Friends, on the other hand, you can pick. Don't let the mediocre aspirations and misery of your friends be the determining factor by which you steer your life. You do not owe any amount of loyalty to a friend whose only function in life is to make you feel as small as they do. If you want to preserve the relationship talk with them about how their actions and words affect you. They will either listen or they will ignore you. If they ignore you, well... I'd say it's time to walk away and look for other friends that will have your back and raise you up from where you currently are.
This recommendation goes along with the above. Explore your options when it comes to social or business groups. Look for ones in which the people involved are excited about success - theirs and others. These groups should also put an emphasis on personal growth and self-improvement. The support you can gain from associating with groups of this nature will not only provide you with a circle of love and support, the positive feelings gained from this association will help to awaken the forces inside you that will drive you to achieve your goals.
Invest in a coach or find an accountability partner
A coach is trained to help you increase the probability of your success. There are many types of coaches including health coaches, business coaches, empowerment coaches, transformation coaches and many more. You can literally find a coach for any aspect of your life that you are looking to improve. Coaches facilitate their clients' own process of connecting to their inner wisdom and in so doing help them to make choices that lead them to achieving their goals. They can help you start getting results in your life.
As a Holistic Life and Transformation Coach I help men and women in the following areas:
Identify and bust limiting beliefs so they can live life on their own terms
Regain and/or build their confidence
Restore their self-worth
Reduce the overwhelm
Gain clarity about their goals
Obtain life balance
Discover their purpose(s) Live a motivated and empowered life Achieve Results
If you would like to explore how I can help you as a coach, why not schedule a thirty minute breakthrough session? In this session I will help you identify and clear limiting beliefs, as well as help you diagnose the biggest obstacles stopping you from achieving your goals. We will find out what exactly you need to focus on to move forward and I will give you my best recommendation for the strategy and next steps to take. How much is your future success worth to you?
Committing to your future success is one of the best decisions you will ever make. Schedule your session by clicking here.
Sarah Rezonzew is a Holistic Life and Transformation Coach specializing in online and in person coaching, helping people bust through limiting beliefs so they can live life on their terms, gain/build their confidence, achieve their goals, feel empowered and live life to the fullest. You can reach her by visiting her website Your Next Best Life or by emailing her at firstname.lastname@example.org