Updated: May 20
Do you have goals and dreams in life that you want to achieve? Do you set a goal, feel motivated, set action steps, and begin forward motion only to flounder and stop somewhere in the middle, or even at the beginning of achieving your goal? Or maybe you just feel that you don’t have any forward progression in your life, you are in limbo not knowing how to get started.
It could be that limitations are holding you back.
Limitations come in many forms, and are actually a form of self-sabotage. Below are three ways we limit ourselves with recommendations on how to break free.
LIMITATION # 1
Believing labels that others have ascribed to you through their words.
To illustrate this I will share a story from my past. Before I do, I want to make sure that you know that when I use past experiences as examples, I am in no way saying, “Whoa is me!” or asking for sympathy. I’ve grown beyond the limiting labels of my past and am a conqueror, not a victim. I believe you are also a conqueror.
Growing up, a week didn’t go by that my father didn’t ask me if I was stupid or if I had any common sense. By the time I was 17, I was pretty sure that I was indeed, stupid. As life went on I got a job, moved out of my parent’s home and began to develop new relationships outside of family and since I wasn’t around my family as often, new ideas about myself began to creep in. For example, I made great grades in college so that I almost had a 4.0 GPA and employers began to give me compliments.
I’ll never forget the day my boss at a prestigious golf course in Houston, Texas had me training a new employee. Before he left us alone together, he looked at her and told her, “If you have any problems ask Sarah. She’s got a lot of common sense.” The compliment took me aback and I had to let it sink in for a while. Experiences like this and others were the beginning of me realizing that I wasn’t stupid. In fact, by the time I was 25 I realized that I was pretty smart and did have quite a lot of common sense.
So how do you get over labels other people have put on you? I’ll give you four recommendations.
1. Forgive them.
As an adult I realized that my dad had done the best he could with what he knew. He wasn’t a bad father. Actually, he has many good qualities about himself, and I sincerely love him.
When we come to a place of understanding that people are only doing the best they know how, it can allow us to take responsibility for how we allowed their limitations to shape our lives and release them from any further responsibility. Ultimately this will cause us to grow and mature, propelling us forward in a positive direction in life.
2. Stop spending time with the people who see you as less than who you are (i.e. end toxic relationships).
Forgiving someone does not mean you have to be a doormat and continue to let them beat on you.
3. Surround yourself with people who have your best interest in mind, value you and build you up.
This is where a life coach can help, because they are trained to see beyond perceptions. They are trained to see opportunities that you might not see
4. Focus on reality, not perceptions.
I could have focused on the perception that was built up throughout my childhood that I developed from listening to negative words about myself. Instead I began looking at reality: my grades, my work performance and reviewed the decisions I had made that were wise ones.
We give negative emotions power over us.
What do I mean by this? Have you ever had something happen to you that left you fuming? Next thing you know, you are saying, “I am ANGRY!” Well my friend, you have just classified yourself as an angry person. This might sound like semantics, but hang in with me for a little bit and I will show you how this can be very powerful in your life.
I’m not saying that anger is bad. In fact, anger can be a catalyst for change but speaking that way can lead us to connect with an emotion in such a way that it becomes our identity and a label, which puts us in a box. If we don’t end the self-identification with an emotion we can begin to attract negative energy and negative energy does not propel people forward. In fact, it can leave you in a hole that you don’t know how to get out of.
I recommend that you begin to be very cognizant of the words that come out of your mouth. Instead of saying, “I am angry.” Say, “I feel angry.”
In the English language we really have to think about this. I was talking to my husband, whose first language is Spanish, about this issue. He told me that in Spanish a person doesn’t say "Soy bravo" (I am angry), instead they say, "Estoy bravo" (I am in a state of anger). This really helps to separate the person from the anger and use it in a beneficial way, instead of connecting with it and forming an identity. So, watch what you say. Now, if you want to be an angry person, by all means go right ahead, but I’d rather be a happy person attracting positive energy than an angry one attracting negative forces. Realize that anger is pointing at something that needs to change in your life and do something about it instead of walling in it. This will move you forward in a positive direction.
Our past experiences set us up for personal bias
Imagine that every time you set out to start a business it fails. You might be of the mindset that trying to start your own business will always and only have the same result. When we think this way our thoughts become self-defeating and limiting.
Henry Ford said the following,
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time a little more intelligently.”
So how do we overcome the personal bias of past experiences?
1. View everything as a lesson from which you learn, evaluating your past for the sole purpose of drawing the best possible meaning from those experiences.
2. View your struggles, rejections, problems, challenges and failures as training ground that prepares you for whatever it is you are aiming to do, or whoever you are aiming to become.
3. Along the same lines above, evaluate and identify the cycles you have been repeating in life. When you have identified them, make a decision to end them and life will change for the better. Begin a new, positive cycle that leads propels you forward in a positive direction.
These are just a few possible limiting factors people could have working in their lives preventing them from growth and forward progression. Some limitations are pretty evident and some are hidden under so many layers that we aren’t even aware of them. That’s where life coaching comes in, to help uncover those layers so that you can recognize, reject them, release yourself from them, and ultimately maximize your potential and create the life you want.
If you would like to take advantage of life coaching to achieve a goal contact me to set up a free consultation.
If you’ve read this far, I want to thank you. I hope this is just the beginning of our relationship. I’d love to learn more about you. The best way to do that and stay connected is to join my subscriber’s list – just contact me on Facebook Messenger, tell me a little about yourself, if you have any goals you’d like help with, and leave me your email.
Let today be the start of YOUR NEXT BEST LIFE!
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